Padres y Madres Separados

Ayuda práctica, jurídica y psicológica padres, madres, separados, divorciados e hijos

Medically PAS is considered by many to be a form of emotional child abuse, but it is not currently recognised as abuse in the legal system.

This is a commentary on the article further below discussing Parental Alienation awareness.

I hope Lisa doesn't mind me discussing this and showing a different if allied perspective - raising awareness about parental alienation is also probing what these words really add up to.

The piece further below that she has sent seems an excellent commentary and includes many of the key points.

It is good to see analysis of the inequitable distribution of income for the poorest separated families looking after children and the accurate description of the living hell the courts have placed so many family members in.

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And the way it works is not that complicated - human understanding of these simple mechanisms is accessible to all. When a child understands that she or he is being placed under the sole decision-making authority of their resident parent, with the full support of the system, they are suddenly forced to grow up in a completely unnatural way.

They have to make choices of emotional allegiance for their own self-preservation and self interest - it is devastating - these are socially and physically exteme situations of conflicting loyalties that they are being placed in, as dependents, by the system. Bear in mind that the selective pressure, under present legal norms, is in favour of the most abusive, arrogant and self-obsessed of the parents, who is liable to be given the greatest exclusive control of the children. In this way you may get some idea of the scale of the offically-sanctioned madness.

It is clearly the social and legal context which is relevant here. Dwelling on the internal pathology of extreme cases of alienation leads us up the garden path, as the consequences of even mild alienation or estrangement are in many ways just as damaging - in hardnosed terms. If you don't see each other, you don't see each other - that is what is significant. Relational contempt and indifference is just as toxic as these "active symptoms" of parental alienation that may be paraded by expert witnesses in a desperate attempt to make the judiciary see sense.

Even shared parenting - indeed any form of parenting - is difficult, damaging, alienating, if you are constantly insecure about what the authorities may do to break up and alienate your family from you, or impoverish you for defending yours and your children's relational rights - this is also one of the principal drivers of alienation by parents - the need to achieve security and the absence of constant stress, due to an unjust and brutal system of family law, for they and their children.